Trusting the Signs and Taking the Leap
I spent the majority of a decade delivering pizza because it was comfortable, easy, and I could get by doing it. I learned a valuable lesson on the energetic process of manifesting in my time there by seeing how whenever I wasn’t stressing about the money, the amount of tips I would make in comparison to the other drivers was so much it seemed unfair. Seeing that aspect of it, I can’t say it was a “waste of time” but I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I was wasting my potential or that there was something bigger for me.
I always had an interest in astrology but 2016-2017 is when I dove WAY into it and became completely obsessed and studied it all of the time. I always felt like I needed to know more… and I still feel that way. But, even when I never felt like I knew enough I always had people asking me questions, wanting me to look at their charts, and they started actually offering to pay me to do it. It was so dope because money was the last reason I got into it. I was just fascinated and I ended up manifesting money through my own interests and curiosity.
One day, I got to work and there was this gargantuan luna moth waiting on the door. I couldn’t miss it because this thing was like a fucking furry green pterodactyl. I took a picture because it stood out to me so much. It sat there on the door all night while I was working so I saw it every time I would go in and out on deliveries. When I clocked out that night, I thought it might even be dead but I poked it and it started walking so I left it alone and went home.
The next day, I show up and this 747 jumbo jet of a moth is still just sitting there on the door that I had to walk through. It continued to hang out there all night, walking around like it owned the place and didn’t want to leave. I knew the traditional meaning of moth symbolism being transformation, hidden knowledge and mysticism; basically all things “Scorpio”. I still didn’t quite get the message yet though...
The next day I get there and amazingly, it’s still there. I googled Luna moths and found out they only live about 10 days as a moth. I went over and looked at it and I had somewhat of a telepathic conversation with it. It went like this…
“You get maybe 10 days to fly... and you’re going to waste it here? You’re supposed to go explore, find a mate, be free… You have so much potential to go experience the world in this wonderful form and follow your purpose, but you’re spending it all at a fucking pizza place?” Then I felt it. As if it looked directly into my soul and said, “Look bro, it’s been 3 days. You’ve been here almost 10 years. Who the fuck are you even talking to right now?”.
I was floored by it’s audacity but also grateful for the awakening message. I realized I wasn’t talking to the moth at all. I was talking to myself because everything is an extension and reflection of my inner being… or some type of spiritual cliche shit. Just like that, it was gone next time I passed through the door.
This story would be so much cooler if I could say that I quit that day to pursue astrology and music but to be honest, I stayed there until I was completely miserable. However, I did start to create my platform as an astrologer and when my manager who didn’t respect my boundaries of availability that allowed me to have time to work on that, I ended up quitting on a whim with no idea how things would work out.
I wish I could say it was perfectly smooth sailing because in the grand scheme of things, it sort of has been. It was my Saturn return though so it wasn’t easy by any means. I had to let go of everything that isn’t a basic necessity and it took a lot of persistence and faith to keep from turning back. I had to rely on the manifestation technique I acquired while delivering pizza. I call it delusional optimism. That actually means unconditional love. Being in a state of gratitude and seeing the glass half full regardless of what conditions are around me. “Delusional optimism” sounds far less cheesy though.
I say all of that to say this; I know there are a lot of people who hit a similar situation... Feeling called to do bigger things but questioning how it’s supposed to work in this weird matrix we live in. Just know that when the Universe calls, you won’t be called to do something and not find the support that you need along the way. Let this message be your Luna moth. After all, I am just an extension and reflection of your inner being… or some spiritual cliche shit like that.
- Colbe Barrett